Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Letter To Lego

Dear Lego Star Wars,
Hi. How's it going?
First I would like to congratulate you on your super cool toys. Really. Well done. My kid and many of his other 8 year old friends - well it's like crack to them. I'm not sure how you do it because looking at those Super Death Star Anakin Trooper Rogue Shadow ships does nothing for me. But you get my kid in front of that aisle at Toys R Us and it's all "OH MY GOD MOM LOOK AT THAT! SWEEEEEEET!" Ah what? I didn't hear you because the pretty Barbie an aisle over just winked at me. I think she wants me to come look at her new shoes.

And LSW, can I ask? Do you have kids? I'm guessing not. Otherwise you wouldn't make these super sweet concoctions with 1,500 itsy bitsy teeny weeny pieces. Because dear LSW, THIS is what happens when said 8 year old boy opens up this SWEEEEEEEET birthday gift.

No, this isn't in the safety of his bedroom. This is in the living. Right in the middle of the living room. Fun right?
Ever had one of those pieces lodged between your pinkie and 4th toe? So. Much. Fun!
Ever step on one of these suckers in the middle of the night but you can't scream to the high heavens because you don't want wake your kid, so you mutter every obsencity you have ever heard in a whisper? Good times there!

Also when my child, after hours of trying to build this ship himself, finally looks at me with desperation and says "Mom, can you help?" I look at him as if he has just spoken Cantonese and say with a blank stare, "Ah, I can help by making you a snack!"

You see, I don't DO Lego Star Wars. I do Barbie's hair, and I can dress up a Build A Bear with the greatest of ease. If you need someone to set up your Webkinz animal online, I'm your girl.
But putting together the Battle Trooper Clone Wing Fighter Darth Vadar Ship... nope. Not me.

So dear Lego Star Wars, again super cool toy but could you either start making them with just 3 huge pieces or at least have it come with an instant Geek Guy that can sit with my son for hours and help with him this super cool gift. Oh and if he was cute, single and a Democrat that would be SWEEEEEET!


I'll Be Sending My Podiatrist Bill To You


Sheleena said...

This was hilarious! Thanks for the giggle this morning.

I like Legos :) Maybe sometime after I move, Ben and I can play and you can make us a snack and maybe do my hair. Hee hee

Jennifer said...

I'm right there with you, Sister! On all of it.

Though I mistakenly read your request for a Geek Guy as a Greek THAT is a good idea. ;)

the mama bird diaries said...

So far we are a lego free house. I am so scared of those things after reading about you moms injuring yourselves on them!

Marketing Mama said...

LOL - especially on making him a snack... I'll remember this when my son gets his first kit = he must open in his bedroom. :)

Becky said...

Jennifer, I'll take any kind of guy you can find me. Greek. Geek. Meek just not a Freak.

And Mama's, stay away from Legos as LONG AS YOU CAN!