Saturday, March 8, 2008

I Named Him Carl and Bought Him Chips

*originally written and posted on My Space 1/27/08

Last night after a very bizzare night out, I stopped at my favorite gas station (ok not really my favorite but it's on the way home and it's open late - hence it's my favorite) to get my "after the bar treat". Nothing tastes as good at 1 in the morning like a Hostess Fruit Pie. Don't judge just try the magic that IS these pies.
I pull in and was about to go into the door on the side when this man outside says "Hey Sister, you can't get in that way. They lock those doors after midnight."
"Thanks" I say as I walk by him.
"Hey Sister. Could I ask you a favor?" he asks. Right then I thought, "I am not buying this guy cigarettes, giving him cash, or buying him liquor."
To my surprise, he didn't ask for any of these things. Instead he said "Could you buy me a bag of potato chips? That would really hit the spot and get me through the night." I was so taken aback by this request that to my surprise, I said fairly eagerly "Sure! What kind?"
He thought for a moment, and replied, "I'm not sure. Classic I guess. The $.99 bags."
I said "You know, if I were you, I would totally go with Sour Cream and Onion."
He continued to think, as did I, thinking "What the hell am I doing?!" So I said "Ok make up your mind quickly here buddy... I'm cold!" He smiled and said very matter of factly, "I think your right. I'll take Sour Cream and Onion..."

So I went in, got his chips, my water and fruit pie - alas they didn't have blueberry just apple. Which is why I'm convinced I have the headache that I do right now. If it was blueberry I would be tap dancing while juggling plates instead of at the computer, writing this blog with a HUGE cup of coffee and two Advil.
I walked out, gave him his chips as he said while walking away "Bless you Sister! Really, bless you. Thank you so much!!"
I got to my car, turned around and shouted after him "Hey! What's your name?" I think he was so into the heaven that is Sour Cream and Onion potato chips that he didn't hear me.
So I named him Carl.
Hope you enjoyed the chips as much as I enjoyed buying them for you Carl.
Keep warm buddy.


Clay said...

I think its cool that a 99 cent bag of chips can make someones night. I also love those pies. I had to resist one at the vending machine at work the other day. I swear it was talking to me and talking to me through the crystal clear glass of the machine. I should lay off the drugs while at work.

I think my "hit the spot" snack would be some kind of greasy beef stick...or a, a swiss cake roll.

Becky said...

I think Mr. Hostess was an alcoholic because the miracle that those fruit pies can do after a night of drinking, is truly something to behold.

Yeah if I were Carl, I would'nt have picked chips either but who am I to judge.