Sunday, March 9, 2008

How To Clean Your Room Like a 7 Year Old Boy

1. When your mother asks you to clean your room, pretend you just went deaf. If you don't answer or acknowledge her, maybe she will forget.
2. When she asks you again an hour later, put her off. Ask to finish the show you are watching. When that's done say you have to play JUST ONE computer game. After that just look at her with a big smile and tell her she's pretty. Maybe she will forget.
3. When she tells you you can't have dinner until you clean your room, look at with longing eyes and say "But I'm so hungry!" Remember, she's a Jewish Mother therefore she can't in her soul stand to see anyone hungry. Sweet! Eat your dinner. SLOW.

4. After dinner, finally go into your room. Pick up one toy at a time. Before you put it away, dance with it, play with it and show it to all your other toys, until you finally get it to it's right place.
5. Ooh a Green Bay Packer helmet. Put that on. Come out to the kitchen and show your mom how cool you look.
6. When your mother says "Ben you are hopping more than you are cleaning!!" Answer her with MORE hopping and a smile.
7. Ooh gold beads. Put them on. Take the football helmet off and put up your hood on your sweatshirt. Go into the bathroom and check yourself out in the mirror while singing made up songs with the words "poop" and "butt" in them.
8. When that mother says again "Ben, seriously, what are you DOING?" Answer her with "What are YOU doing Mom?"
9. Sooner or later she will get too annoyed and go upstairs to write a blog about this experience. Sweet! You won!
10. Go up to her while she's writing this blog wearing some random headphones that YOU FOUND WHILE CLEANING!

**this blog is brought to you by an exasperated mother on Day Light Savings Time Sunday evening that won't end.

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