Sunday, April 13, 2008

Google THIS!

When I was a kid, WAAAAY back in the day, and I asked my parents a question they didn't know, they would simply say "I don't know" or worse "Look it up in the dictionary." And pluheeez, what kid actually did that? I know! The smarty pants who developed GOOGLE!

Now don't get me wrong. I love me some Google. I use it like an addict every day. Even if I know the website, eh, it's easier just to Google it. (Plus they have cute employees!)

However as a mother, Google is my nemesis.

First off, now when Ben asks me a question that I don't know, I can't simply pass it off as "Don't know kiddo..." or "Look it up in your set of encyclopedias that Aunt June gave you..." For one, he doesn't have an Aunt June and secondly we don't even own a dictionary not to mention any encyclopedias. So I'm stuck with the response from him of "Well, Google it!"

Case and point, the other evening I was IM'ing with my cousin Amy when Ben asked "What's a Nova?"
"Ah, a star sort of"
"Well is it a star or not?"
"Oh Honey I really don't know."
"Well, Google it!"
"But I'm chatting with Amy"
"Just open another tab and Google it quick"
"Are you 17 or 7?"
"Fine. A Nova 'is a cataclysmic nuclear explosion caused by the accretion of hydrogen onto the surface of a white dwarf star.'"
"OK now what is a Nova Dragon?"
"A what?? Oh. My. God! are you serious? I have no idea what a Nova Dragon is."

You see where this is going.

Secondly, you can no longer pass things off as if they don't exist. When your child asks "Let's find a computer game where you can create your own pirate."
Before the Google days I could say "Oh young ignorant child. No such things exist."
Now it's "Mom, I'm going to Google 'Create Your Own Pirate.'" I'm sure you are SHOCKED to find out I recently had to take my computer in for a huge virus clean up. Now freelance Googling is not allowed - which brings us back up to the first point.

You see, Google? You may make life easier for some but for me, you're a pain in the tush.
Maybe I should sue them for Mental Anguish just like these folks did.

Then again, Google isn't a company I would want to piss off. Can you imagine making THEM mad?

"I'm going to Google where the nearest Macy's is. WHAT!? The closest one is in Tallahassee? Weird. I could have sworn there was one in Madison. Well what about Crate and Barrel? Why is it taking me to"

On second thought. Hi Google. Not really mad. Have you lost weight? You look SO SKINNY!

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