Sunday, March 30, 2008

How To Clean Your Room Like a 36 Year Old Woman

*After critiquing my son's fine cleaning techniques I decided to take an honest look at myself and see where he might get his cleaning abilities:

1) Realize there is a problem with the current state of cleanliness of your room and agree to tackle that problem. Right after another cup of coffee.

2) When all the coffee in the house and the entire apartment complex is gone and you are buzzing like a bee… mentally organize how you are going to clean up said room. It's bad. It looks like the closet vomited all over your floor. Do some Yoga moves to try calm down.

3) Decide to start in one corner and work your way through. Now… which corner? Ooh! How about the one with the computer in it?! Check a couple blogs while you are deciding if this is the really the best corner to start in.

4) OK enough is enough. Finally decide to pick the corner with the big pile of clothes on the floor. Determine whether they are clean or dirty. Get your kid to smell them.

5) Find the clean laundry pile. Start to put the clothes away. One at a time in your closet. Ooh look! THERE ARE THOSE SHOES!

6) Try them on. So cute!

7) Find just the right pants to go with the newly discovered shoes.

8) Prance around the room in "new" shoes and cute pants while singing along loudly to Brittany Spears "Gimme More"

9) OK back on task. Begin to fold the child's laundry which is now all over your bed. Ooh IM bell went off! Race to computer to see who messaged.

10) 30 minutes later, go back to pile of clean clothes. Fold. Fold. FOLD MORE! Sprain your arm from patting yourself on the back for making such good head way.

11) Oh! Was that my cell? It IS my cell. Hmmm, where is my cell? "Ben! Where is my cell?"

12) Decide that finding your cell phone is much more important and urgent that dealing with the messy room and the laundry. You ARE the adult after all. Finish it tomorrow.

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